What is a billion?......

My friend, Phil Alexander, sent me an email about what is a billion.

A billion seconds ago it was 1959.
A billion minutes ago Jesus was alive.
A billion hours ago our ancestors were living in the Stone Age.
A billion days ago no-one walked on the earth on two feet.
A billion dollars ago was only 8 hours and 20 minutes, at the rate our government is spending it.

I was not impressed. Here is my list.

There are billions of misquitos in Florida.
I have dug a billion holes in the sand of Myrtle Beach.
I have swung my coil back and forth many billions of times.
I have dug up a billion pulltabs.
I have dug up a billion eaten up zinc pennies. Some from the Jurassic period.
I have answered the question, "What's the best thing you've ever found?" a billion times.
I have been stung by jelly fish many times...maybe not a billion.
I've peed in my wetsuit a billion times.
I've had kids pester the hell out of me a billion times.
I've said WTF a billion times
I've gone to the beach with high hopes of finding a gold ring a billion times.
I've come back from the beach without finding a gold ring a billion times.
The humdity in the summer is a billion percent.
The wind chill factor on the beach in the winter brings the temperature to minus one billion.
The chances of me making any money are one in a billion.
My wetsuit has been put on the Superfund list.
There are a billion crotch rockets in MB during Black Bike Week.
MB paid 40 million dollars to renourish the beach. This put billions of cubic feet of sand over everything I want to find.
There are a billion Bounty Hunter metal detectors sold in MB during the summer.
The chances of me having a car that has a headliner that hasn't fallen down is one in a billion.
What are the chances of having air conditioning that works in my car? You tell me.

Nope, a billion doesn't impress me. Foiled Again Jim